Saturday, June 21, 2008

Musings on a rainy saturday

I'm not the sentimental type. I don't gush at the sight of babies, or swoon at romantic songs filled with promises of happily ever afters. I guess my feet are just too planted on the ground. I live in planet earth and not some disneyland storybook. As I have matured (as opposed to just getting older), this character trait has only strengthened. I am no expert when it comes to relationships, I mean, I only had one which lasted 6 years....and then some. It was a stormy, tempestuous relationship and I learned a lot from it. I still am. Anyway, suffice to say, this only hardened me even more. I thought that at one point after that breakup, I had allowed myself to open up again, but maybe I was only fooling myself. Barely a year after that "thing", I could not imagine why I was so hung up on that person. It was quite sad. And so I am back to sqaure one. Trying to figure out why I feel so...little these days. I am never disappointed beacuse I don't expect anything from people. Frankly it bothers me.

I guess being not sentimental follows that I don't know anything about romance. I mean, what is that? But I am not so hardened that I cannot recognize when it is the real thing. That is when I truly start feeling like I am missing out. I don't really care much about couples per se, but when I do see a pair, who radiates with love, acceptance and happiness, that's when it matters to me. I start to think..I wonder how it must feel, to love someone so completely? And more importantly, will it ever happen to me? only time will tell.

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