Gym day

"Your serenity is based on taking responsibility without taking blame, and letting go without giving up."

There goes another meaningful "thought for the day." Acknowledge that whatever happens to you is because of your own actions and words. But just taking the blame merely makes you a victim. Got it. Loud and clear. But what about giving up without letting go? I guess it just means that you don't close your doors on whoever, or whatever it is. Keep yourself open but do not keep attachments! That's the worst thing you can do.

So yesterday I went to the gym after work, and boy, did I need that. I had stuffed myself with empanadas and a big lunch so I really felt like I had to burn the calories. My trainer was so surprised when I launched into the workout so energetically coz usually I'm so tired after work. I was actually surprised myself! I didn't know empanadas could be such awesome energy boosters. I actually try to to go to the gym atleast three times a week, sometimes I forego the usual routine by doing yoga-- which I find challenging and great for relaxation as well. I love capping a great workout by popping in the sauna. I prefer it to the steam room somehow.

I'm really starting to get into this whole wellness lifestyle. I've started cutting down on eating meat, and hopefully I can give it up altogether. I also like eating my greens now. It used to be such a pain but not I like it. It feels good when you've consumed greens instead of the usual heavy carb, oily diet Filipinos are so used to. I cannot imagine going back to eating that kind of stuff. I'm hoping my mom will get a juicer soon so we can prepare fresh fruit juices at home. The downside is that keeping healthy can get a little expensive. I mean, if you want your products to be all organic, just take a look at healthy options, it's not cheap! And I do love getting pampered at the spa too. I live for massages and scrubs. There's this spa place in BF Homes, Rodeo Spa and they have a great menu of services. I like getting the leg scrub and massage. I also get my massages there but for someone who's really good at massages (me!), it's ben difficult to find someone who can go up my standards. So far the best has been my gym trainer. Haha.

Drive myself Crazy

The weekend is not over yet but I feel spent ---- emotionally and physically. I have been experiencing challenges with some relationships and even if I thought I could get through this as I always do, this one has proven more difficult than I thought. For one, this problem has been dragging on for some months now, with no positive resolution in sight. I don't care to get into the details of it because it is still something I'd like to keep private. There have been many realizations, about myself and those close to me. Admittedly, I'm the type of person who keeps everything on the surface. If I am upset, or sad, or happy, these are all very obvious as soon as you see me. I don't like to keep things inside. As much as possible I want to free myself from that kind of burden.

My current problems have revealed to me that I do keep things bottled up inside. The important things that influence me in a big way. I have been hurt by people close to me and I have been like an uncontrollable water tap because of it. Looks like I have been nurturing years of resentment and I am processing these feelings just now. I don't know how all of this will end but I am just glad that the purging process has begun.

Ariva!

Who would have thought? Me. Me! I never thought I would be the type to be a slave to the 9 to 5 gig, but lo and behold, I have become the 8-7 girl with the way things are going. I can't say that I am 100% corporate because I'm into fashion retail, but this is still very much a business landscape however you look at it. My days are spent looking at numbers, computing for margins, managing inventory, analyzing sales trends..you get the picture. As a lover of fashion, it saddens me that my only relationship with shoes and bags now is deciding whether I can get good margins from it. Don't get me wrong, this business is challenging, dynamic, and exciting, but it is STILL a desk job and requires a lot of number crunching. (ME! number crunching!)

So anyway, the other day, I watched this TV show where they were talking about creating a "visual map" in order to remind yourself everyday, of what you want to achieve and why you do what you do. It's like putting your dreams in actual pictures. This is pretty easy to do since we did this all the time in kindergarten. I've decided that this is something I MUST do. In my heart I know that this is where I should be, but the repetitive things that I do everyday is what gets to me. Prior to working for my company, I had been doing freelance work, and before that, I was in publishing where I had no set schedule and I could wear anything I wanted. Well I still can, pretty much, but my schedule here is packed everyday.

So that being said, I can still say that I am having fun and learning a lot. It's been a surreal past 3 years for me because I have started achieving what I had always dreamt of. Now, the challenge is for me to keep pushing myself and to stay focused. There are still so many things I can do with this life that has been give to me.

Wow. It's a friday and I feel so melancholic. Damn, I think I need a drink.

Hello World!

As my first official blog entry, I find it fitting to share with you my "thought for the day" which I get in my email every day. It helps me start the day with clarity and enthusiasm.

"Make Today a Breeze Not a Battle.Never fight. Nothing is worth fighting for. Wisdom never fights, it waits patiently, speaks positively, releases easily, sees benefit in everything and envisions a future of abundance...knowing that all needs will be met at the right moment, in the right way. If you think life is a struggle you will always be struggling, If you think life is a breeze, your attitudes and actions will convey lightness and easiness. And that's what attracts everything you need, and much more. Make today a breeze not a battle."

So all my needs will be met at the right moment if I just stop struggling. I like that. I never liked struggling, nor fighting. It just weighs down on you till you're mush. Who wants to be with someone constantly walking with a dark shadow behind her? Not me. Honestly, there's just too much to be thankful for.

This isn't actually the first time I've kept an online diary. I had started one about two years ago and it's still fun reading about what I had been "preoccupied" with a few years back. Hopefully, this diary of mine will be just as meaningful, and faithful to my genuine thoughts and experiences.