Hairy story

"All your searching ends when you find yourself"

How many times have we heard the line, or even said it ourselves..that we need to "find ourselves." I just have to add a funny anecdote about a movie, where one character -- apparently inspired by Gwyneth Paltrow, was told.. "Oh Honey, you just need to look under the nearest man." The truth does hurt sometimes. So why am I saying this? It has something to do with my hair. See, the thing is I have naturally curly hair and I fought it for years. I've tried every treatment and procedure that promised soft, straight hair. I used to think, if I just go to the right salon, the right stylist, and buy the right products, I will have the hair that I've always wanted. But I only ended up frustrated, tired, broke and still searching.

So as a last resort I thought, why not just go with the natural? I grew out my hair, had it colored and got the right cut. As someone who can be a resource person for all matters concerning salon hair treatments, I'd have to say, I have never been happier and more satisfied.

Today I went to work with bangs and straight hair. I had a salon treatment during the weekend and my hair was blown out as a result. It's funny how much attention my straight hair had gotten. The reviews have been mixed. Some girls loved the hair and said I looked younger. One girl felt sad when she thought I had ditched the wild mane. But what was more striking to me was when one of my officemates said that the "new" hair was nice, but she liked my curly hair because it was more me. As a matter of fact, I couldn't agree with her more. I promptly assured her the straight hair was only temporary, and that I would have my curly locks back in no time. Like I said, all the searching ends when you find yourself. And that goes for hair too. Haha.

Rollin with the punches

I felt the need to resurface after that sinfully long holiday break. Actually, it wwas a little too long. Physically I am well and rejuvenated but I guess emotionally I've taken quite a beating. Something that had dragged on for 2 years has now gone on its final curtain call. I realize that it's fitting that this happened during the start of the year so I can let go of all the baggage. I need to purge myself of all the bad stuff and let the great stuff into my life. I'm tired, sad, a little bit regretful but it's all part of the cleansing process to deal with this now.

Something tells me I'm ready for that 2nd tattoo which comes 2 years after the first. I waited to feel that need, and it's back with a vengeance.

Well here's to a rockin' 2009.

Food for the soul

I have a tattoo on my inner wrist on my right hand that reads Vivere. It simply means "to live." After my stay in Italy, I decided that I would never forget to live my life in the manner that is meaningful to me and for people around me. I had been feeling pretty burnt out from all the work I was doing, I had been going home at 9.30-11pm most nights. My job gives me a lot of fulfillment but I needed to have balance. An invitation from my friend to join a kayak competition turned up about a month ago and I readily volunteered to join. My experience with the kayak had been mostly recreational. I loved kayaking at the beah whenever I had the chance. The organizer had found a tandem partner for me and this basically sealed the deal. I was going.

When I got there the day before the event, I was overwhelmed with the warmth of the organizing group. I was immediately assimilated into their group and soon enough they were passing out beers to everyone. I only had one bottle as I was joining the novice 7.8k race the next morning. The beer and good conversation distracted me from the fact that I was basically by myself. The next morning, my good friend Vanessa Garon arrived with her team. They were a funny and entertaining bunch, and when they saw I was nervous about the race, the encouragement and support made me smile. I wish I could put down in words how inspiring it was to be part of that event and to have met all the awesome people I did. On the way to the resort I was staying in the previous night, Pat, who was part of the organizing committee told me "Iba din ang trip mo ha." This was in reference to my decision to join the race and come alone. In my mind, it has always been a sure fact. The best experiences come from being spontaneous and having faith that things will work out if you want it enough. I wanted to feel connected to the world and to challenge myself in a different way. I've also always been a water person. Anything that will get me in the water is a good thing.

My only goal coming into the race was to finish the course. It was a grueling 2 hour route, and for someone with no previous experience and practically no practice, this seemed rather impossible. But as I was in the water, paddle in hand, waiting for the starting signal, my competitive spirit was ignited. More than anything I wanted to complete the course.... even if my team finished last. Guess what? we didn't finish last, and now I have a certificate saying I completed a 7k course. As we were in the last stretch to the finish line, I could hear Vanessa and her team cheering me on. It was a great moment and I gave myself an imaginary pat in the back.

What can I say? Some of the most amazing experiences I've had, happened when I wasn't planning, calculating, or maneuvering. There will be more.

Life, oh life

It's 10.25pm and I am still at the office. Yesterday I clocked out at 8pm. This crazy work schedule is killing me! No matter how early I get to the office, it's like I never get even half of the work done. There are reports, meetings, and more reports. I need a life!! Now!

Ever been called a Lah vah?

lov·er (lvr)
n.
1. One who loves another, especially one who feels sexual love.
2. lovers A couple in love with each other.
3.
a. A paramour.
b. A sexual partner.
4. One who is fond of or devoted to something: a lover of fine food.

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Well, well, well...

So stop

I just realized that I use the words "stop" and "enough" way too many times in this blog. Yikes! Not a very good sign. Must be why I've been feeling so crappy lately. I've had to put a halt or purge myself of rotting bad habits.

Foot in Mouth Disease

It's come to a point where there are no excuses anymore. I don't know why I do it, or how I do it, but I always end up with my foot in my mouth. Lately, I have been really trying to consciously control any raging emotions that just threaten to spill out of my mouth. This was not a practice in the past. I would just let it out if I wanted. But with age, I've also come to realize that in this world, there is not just me.Haha. Other people have feelings that need care. Just as mine do. My sister told me it will take time to slowly change. Kind of like a muscle that's never been exercised before. The process will be long and arduous. But man, if I can avoid that downright disgusting feeling of wanting to bang my head against the wall after mouthing off like a crazy person, then I am willing to go through this process. No more. It's enough. It's enough.